Why? Good question.
Was it because we were too busy to connect the dots and share our thoughts? Maybe, but a weak excuse at best. Could it be that our life has been a series of hedonistic adventures, both challenging to the senses and pleasuring for the soul, close, but again not the reason. What was it and why, may have been something we half expected, but by no means prepared for. Before we roll down that path…
… let me begin on LIGHTer side. We enjoyed an unusually great stretch of warm weather, which allowed for an abundance of surf, cycle, yoga and paddling; mostly with friends and family and around the beautiful and raw province of BC. We had the pleasure of working closely with lululemon at the 02x event in Vancouver and Wanderlust in Whistler. My role was to share my personal story to inspire those willing souls whom dedicated their time to unveiling the highest version of themselves.
The more I hang with the lulu family, the more impressed I am with their dedication to selflessly give themselves to the betterment of the communities they love.From Whistler I found myself in Toronto, for the ParaPANam Games. My task was to work in concert with the Canadian Paralympic Committee, engaging their partners, acting as the athlete liaison, sharing my perspectives on what it means to play sport and represent our country. Honestly, it was the coolest job, being able to engage with so many great people, that truly believe in and support sport in Canada. Together we watched, supported and celebrated team Canada as they took on the Americas, in a variety of summer sports.
What would light be without dark?
For me life has a certain cadence to it, unpredictable at times, but with a rhythm. The pendulum likes to swing, from the epic moments we know and share to the darkness that is so easy to disguise or even disregard. This is why we have ventured into this unfamiliar, transient territory of living a simplified version of life, on the road. To create the time and space needed to intentionally sink into the power of the dark energy, that is our shadow.
It sounds simple, it is not. I have no idea what I am getting myself into, and that is scary, for me and my family. Again the question we ask, or at least I do, is WHY? Another great question, this one I cannot answer with words. The best overview I can give is why not look into the generation trauma that has haunted me my entire life. Why not explore the karma that has brought me to this exact place in life. This is a rabbit hole I am wilfully diving into, it is the adventure within that is, in my opinion very much worth exploring throughout this amazing life, we all share in.
Be careful what you wish for.
Within what seemed like an instant, from when I put forth this intent to explore oneself, my family had two major ruptures in an already complicated storyboard. I will save you the details here, as this is more a personal than a public matter. What I can say is that my Dad has recently been diagnosed with liver cancer, which has created a sense of clarity for both he and my mother. This disease has exposed and accelerated some aged family tension that obviously need to be explored and healed. The shit I dealt with as a child can be summed up as dysfunctional and broken. Often I wonder if my childhood was as troubling as I remember, these recent outbursts of tension solidified my memory and the traumas that have helped to shape the person I am today.
On one hand, wow, this is exactly the type of exploration I was hoping to learn from, on the other hand, holy fuck I am in the middle of a shit storm with no idea what to do. RUN, Dueck, RUN. is what I want to do, trust me. What to do, what to do?
Stress is a natural derivative to these experiences, to which we have become accustom to through my experience in competitive sport. Stress is not bad, unless we interpret it to be. The question is more so how to best channel and discharge this accumulated energy? My initial thought – take care of my girls, nurture our relationship; create space to absorb, time to reflect – deeply engage with each other, surround ourselves with incredible people and immerse ourselves within nature. Pretty much our intention to this trip in the first place, solid.
After our intentional summer stall, an excess of family time and a summer of scrimping and saving; we are ready to hit the road and head south. Where should we go for the winter?
This is where you come in – thoughts, suggestions? Please leave a comment.
I leave you with some of BEST advice given, which inspires us on the daily, and continues to be our principle guide on this trip and in life.
READY – FIRE – AIM